Breakin' All The Rules
By The "Straight Shooter" Shane Stevens

Welcome to another edition of "Breakin' All The Rules.”

Yes.....I have returned! Boy it feels good to tickle the keys on this $10 keyboard again. We have some things to run over this week, so I’m gonna get to it.

Massacre on 34th Street

The “Massacre” has come and gone. It was a successful one no doubt, however, for some on the ECW roster, it truly was a massacre. Reports out now are saying Nova suffered a busted eardrum, and Mikey added to his woes by apparently hurting his back doing a spot. Mikey is already ailing from other injuries, so lets hope he heals up soon. Get well Mikey!

Real quick here, I’m curious about something. Do you all remember how at the November to Remember, New Jack was going up against the man-monster Rhino for the ECW TV strap? Right? Is there a particular reason he worked a dark match? One PPV he’s going for a title, the next he’s not even on the live show? Just something to chew on.

Matthews/York v. Simon/Swinger

Joey Matthews and Christian York picked up the victory over Simon/Swinger in tag action to start out the show. The youngsters continue to get their roll on in ECW and they can only get better from here.

The bigger story in this one is that Dawn Marie has finally come home(to her man)!!! I’ve wondered to myself how long it would take before Dawn’s lack of a role in ECW, led her to her fiancee, Simon Diamond. Finally, they’ve crossed paths and I believe their union on-camera will be a fruitful one. Simon has been left without to much of a bone to chew on since CW basically disappeared from the scene, as well as with Swinger being gone. However, with Swinger back from the injury, and Dawn in his corner, things are looking up for the blue chipper and his partner, Swinger.

Balls Mahoney v. EZ Money

EZ Money pulled the carpet out from under Balls Mahoney with the help of Hot Commodity. Julio Dinero and Chris Hamrick are helping to slowly catapult EZ to the top of ECW. Although I’m not a big fan of Hamrick/Dinero, EZ has a bright future and continues to show out in his matches.

Nova v. Julio Dinero

Nova and Dinero battled it out, with Nova scoring the pinfall. The thing here is though, where one is, there others aren’t too far behind. This held true with Dinero’s compadres coming to his aid. What they didn’t bank on is the 330+ lbs of pissed off Balls Mahoney re-appearing for some retribution. Balls ran them off and we could possibly be looking at a future feud between the hardcore, chair-swinging freak and Hot Commodity.

Danny Doring/Roadkill v. Guido/Mamaluke(c) *ECW World Tag Team Titles*

They have done it. Finally..... After screw-job, after screw-job, after screw-job, Danny Doring and Roadkill have done it. They have captured the ECW World Tag Team Titles!!!! No more being pushed aside. Those days are over. It is Doring/RK’s time to shine, and I can say I am truly proud of them.

As I write this, I am brimming from ear to ear as if I were Doring in the middle of the AVN porn Awards. Better yet, I felt like the St. Louis Blues when they made one of the biggest comebacks I’ve ever seen in my life against the Toronto Maple Leafs nearly one week ago. They scored an overtime goal to beat the Leafs who had what seemed to be an unbeatable lead with mere minutes to go in the 3rd period..

All of these feelings amounted because for so long, I have wanted the tandem to get their due and they haven’t. Now, they are finally tag team champs. It took them that long to capture the belts. Just think how hard it’s going to be to get those belts away from them.

Also, let’s hope Tony’s alright because he took a wicked shot into the guardrail. He’s known for his tendency to do some crazy bumps, but, let’s hope he’s OK.

CW Anderson v. Tommy Dreamer

The result of this one shocked me, but it really shouldn’t have. Dreamer has always helped the company where it needed it, and laying down for CW was just one of those things. This victory gave CW the credibility he needed(in my eyes CW has been a contender, but hey...) but I don’t look for it to be over with just one match, cut and dry. I think this will play out into a series of matches, which will be great for ECW fans.

Rhino(c) v. Spike Dudley *ECW TV Title*

Brutality at its best(or worst if you are Spike)....... That’s all that can be said here. Spike’s “giant killer” image has faded away because he’s met one giant that he just can’t chop down to size. Rhino absolutely beat the shit out of Spike. If you are a casual, non-hardcore fan, watching this match would make you think there was an aggravated assault, borderline attempted murder going down. It was that bad. Oh, and the bump-o-matic Mike Kehner adds a gore through a table to his list of beatings he’s taken. Poor Mike. Rhino retains the title by referee stoppage I guess you could say, and the “Detroit Beating Machine” rolls on. Can anyone stop him????????

Mikey/Tajiri v. Crazy/???

It was great seeing the Sinister Minister back at ringside. Although he should really be resting at home, trying to heal up, it shows how much he loves what he does.

Crazy’s ace in the hole turned out to be none other than Kid Kash, but did it help against Mikey and the Japanese Buzzsaw? I don’t think soooooo.................. Tajiri re-created the scene from he and Crazy’s death matches a while back with Crazy covered in chairs, underneath a table. I feel for Crazy because that is one rough spot. But give it up to my man Tajiri.... the sensation from the Land of the Rising Sun, and our flaming hero, Mikey Whipwreck. Kash and Crazy? Come again...............

Steve Corino(c.) v. Justin Credible v. Jerry Lynn *ECW World Heavyweight Title*

Before this one even started, people were speculating on Jerry Lynn’s future. “If Jerry loses, he’s going to the WWF,” and things of the like. So what? I think that the speculation of Lynn’s departure kind of took a little away from the match itself, but, these 3 guys went out there, regardless of who is going where and just tore the fucking house down. I put my money down on Corino, and I got it all back in the end. Lynn was put out first thanks to “That’s Incredible” and then Corino put down Justin with the Old School Expulsion. The NYC crowd for some reason called for the Sandman, and they got their early Christmas present. Minus the wrapping. The Sandman appeared and took it upon himself to splinter more wood than an Oregon logging company over Victory/Corino’s heads. The former ECW World Heavyweight Champion then abducted the title, and fled the scene with it. End of show.

I think it was an interesting spin at the end of the show with Sandman running off with the belt. If played out right, it could be a great angle.

Before I end out the column this week(a bit shorter than the norm.), keeping in step with my constant plugging of the upcoming Arena show, I want to hear something from the regular NY/Philly fans who converge into Viking Hall. I want to hear from you all which Arena show has been the best so far in your opinions, so hit me up at and tell me which show and why. There have been a few bad ass shows this year, and some that could’ve been alot better, so I’m anxious to see who goes with what.

That’s it for this week folks, and as always, “til next time, don’t hurt nobody............”