Issue 8

By El Loco Hombre69

Well everyone, I know it’s been a while, but I’m finally back with a new column. After a very long…long…long 2 weeks of suburban hell, I’m back in a good ol’ city with actual PEOPLE! WOW! Well…enough with my crappy life, on to a new column!

Now, here is where the problem lied for me. I started to realize that most of the columns have basically been us bitching and moaning about our fav. ECW guys not getting pushes. So, I thought to myself, since I’m not happy, why don’t I just give a suggestion of how to book some of these wrestlers. So for the next couple of weeks, I’m going to book a storyline that would give these guys the spotlight, and I’m going to start off with Taz.

Ever since this whole Invasion angle started, most of the ECW guys that have come in have been lost in the shuffle. Among these is Taz, who has started to wrestle matches, but usually one of the opening matches against some random WWF guy. However, I think I have come up with an angle that would kick Taz’s push into overdrive, and turn him back into his old self. 


The Old Taz is Back!

It would all start on an episode of Raw. Taz would be put up against Perry Saturn in the 2nd match of the night. Before the match, Taz would grab the mic and start his usual promo of “you’re just another victim”, etc. you know the drill. However, near the end of it, the lights would go out and then the lights would turn a tint of green while the word “Homicidal” is heard, but not to loud, just loud enough that you can barely hear, like someone whispering in your ear. On the screen, a quick flash of a fist pointing to the sky, and the lights would go back on. Taz would stare at the screen, eyes wide open, wondering what the hell that was.

On the following Smackdown, Taz would be talking to Tommy Dreamer, and they would be talking about what happened on Raw. Dreamer would tell Taz to not worry about it, that he has his back. Taz thanks Dreamer, and goes off to get ready for his match. This night, Taz would be going up against Kurt Angle in the 2nd to last match of the night. After interference by the WWF and ECW guys, once again the lights would dim, but to a tint of gold this time. On the screen, barb wire and the ECW logo would flash across it. The word “Suicidal” is heard all across the arena. Taz once again stares at it, wide eyed, wondering what the hell is going on. This gives Angle the upper hand and he gains a victory.


Can it be?!?
This continues on for about 2 months off and on. At this point, it is mid-January, and it is about a month away from the Royal Rumble. Taz is really starting to lose it as these sudden interruptions have been causing him to lose matches more frequently. Since this has begun, Taz has gone back to spelling his name with only one Z, wearing his old wrestling tights, and back to wearing the shredded black towel over his head. Also, his promos are once again done in total darkness, with a single light and camera highlighting his face. On an episode of Raw, the strange lights appear once again, and Taz gets completely fed up. He goes to the back where they control all the entrance movies and music. Taz grabs the guy and threatens to beat the crap out of him. Scared to death, technician reaches into his desk nearby and gives Taz an envelope. Taz puts the guy down and opens it. The letter reads:

“I have beaten you and I have survived you before. The question is, are you ready to become just another victim, as I have left you before?”


Not him????
Taz then empties out the envelope and a whistle falls out of it. Taz crumples the paper and storms out of the office. 15 minutes later, Taz’s music hits and he comes out to the ring. He grabs a mic, and begins a promo about his thug and wrestling life, and how he is pissed off with these mysterious lights and logo flashes. He then challenges whoever is behind thisto a match to settle this face to face. After waiting for about 5 minutes, nothing. Then, RVD’s music hits, and he comes out with his hardcore belt in tow. He grabs a mic and tells Taz that he is worried about his behavior the past couple of months, and that he should try to relax. Taz all of a sudden snaps and starts beating on RVD. A referee runs down to the ring as a bell sounds, and both men fight it out for the hardcore belt. After a 10 minute match, Taz pins RVD for the victory after a total squash. Taz is put over as a madman as he raises the belt. Suddenly, the lights dim to a green tint once again. Taz stares at the entrance ramp, along with everyone else in the arena. “Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal, Death Defying” is heard as the sound of a saxaphone plays. Taz’s eyes open as wide as ever as Bill Alfonso comes out, wearing a Sabu hat and workshirt, blowing his whistle, as Sabu quickly runs from behind him, drops to his knees, and points to the sky. Half of the arena goes insane while the other half is silent, having no idea who this man is. Alfonso proceeds to cut a promo, saying that the ghost from his past is Sabu, and that he has come to the WWF to take out one man, and that man was Taz. In between his whistling, Alfonso also manages to blurt out how Sabu wants that Hardcore belt around Taz’s waist. Taz is wide eyed, as he can’t believe that Sabu has come into his territory. For the first time ever, people see Taz as some what vulnerable, even, dare I say it, a little bit scared. Taz quickly shrugs it off and regains his composure. He says that he’ll give Sabu his shot at the title at Royal Rumble, in an ECW styles hardcore match. He also says that he’s broken Sabu’s neck and Jaw, and he’ll gladly do it again. 

MY GOD! It is!
After a couple of weeks of run ins, Royal Rumble comes around, and the match takes place. The match is simply a bloodbath, as both men are drenched in blood. The match ends with Taz hitting a Tazplex onto a table set up on the ring apron, presumably breaking Sabu’s neck. Taz may have gotten the pin, but referees quickly come into the ring. They ring the bell and say the victor is Sabu, because Taz was using moves in the match that have been banned in the WWF. Taz is furious, and starts hitting Tazplexes on referees left and right. Suddenly, all of the ECW guys come down and try to calm down Taz, but Taz starts to Tazplex them as well. In the end, the ring is a mess and Taz stands in the middle of it looking like a homicidal maniac.

After this incident, the feud would last about 6 months, ending at Summerslam, where the two men would in a first ever scaffold ring match, where the whole ring was elevated 20 feet. Taz would win by throwing Sabu throw 3 tables set up one on top of each other, causing Sabu to break his neck, and put him out of action for a couple of months. However, the feud would have accomplished it’s purpose in putting over Taz as the Human Suplex Machine once again, destroying guys left and right. Taz would be elevated to upper mid card status, and probably a little later, main event status. And the children were happy. Yay!

Finally Getting Over!
Well, that’s all for now. I hope you guys e-mail me and tell me what you think. If you guys liked this article, I’ll probably due this as the regular thing, try to do something different in this site full of “WWF sucks! Push ECW to main event!” and such. (Oh…I am so fired for bashing the site aren’t I…) Until next time, peace out my loyal followers until next week when I think of another ECW wrestler with a dead end gimmick (pretty much everyone)

This is El Loco Hombre, signing off.

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