|Living Dangerously 2001
The Fantasy Card That Should Have Been!
March, 11, 2001
|I don’t know about you guys, but the one thing that really rubs me the wrong way (no you pervert, not THAT way) about ECW’s demise was the piss-poor note it went out on. Instead of a tearful goodbye from the men and women that gave us untarnishable memories, we were treated to an offhand blurb on their website. What follows is the final ECW pay-per-view the way it SHOULD have happened, a Night of Champions (the World Wrestling Federation even volunteered to throw any support they could) that would have sent ECW out on a high note. This will be a card filled with old feuds, challenges between friends, a few surprises, and a bit of closure. Let’s go to the ring.||
A Helping Hand?
and welcome to Living Dangerously 2001. I’m Joey Styles…”
“And well…well…well. She was the student and I the Svengali. I made her squirm and holler ‘golly!’, when I injected her with my hot tamale, at ECW’s grand finale. It is I, the quintessential studmuffin, Joel “She wanted my …”
“Wait a minute, wait a minute.” Who would have imagined? Cyrus slowly makes him way to the ring with his usual commotion. “Before you rattle off another disgusting promo to get a cheap pop from these low-life troglodytes, I have some issues to settle with you, Fat Man. You beat me in the ring once before and that will NEVER happen again. I’m here to disgrace you once more and…” Before Cyrus can finish stepping through the ropes, Gertner attacks him in a blur of cellulite. Before either man can gain a clear-cut advantage over the other, Jerry Lynn storms the ring and begins putting the boots to Gertner. As Joel absorbs a true beating, an all-too-familiar tune rings over the PA.
HOLY SH!T, IT’S TAZ (as opposed to Tazz)!!! The human suplex machine charges through the ropes and gives Cyrus a hardway Tazplex that sends him rolling out of the ring. Lynn turns and faces Taz and the two stare each other down.
Lets Start this Up!
|Tazz vs. Jerry Lynn – To me, this has all the makings of a tremendous match-up. Jerry is the perfect worker to “fill in the blanks” between Taz’s suplexes and other high spots. Sometimes, Lynn works best with these “Spot Machine” types of workers (Sabu, RVD) and this contest would certainly prove to be a classic. After 15 or 20 minutes and a broken table or two, Taz would reverse a top-rope DDT into a northern lights Tazplex and follow it up with the Tazmission for the win.||
|Balls/Nova vs. Hot Commodity – This feud had been slowly building up over the course of months, so this match is an obvious one. It would certainly be a solid contest (Hot Commodity reminds me of a Freebirds for the new millennium) which would undoubtedly see the interference of “Confederate Currency” Chris Hammrick. After numerous chairshots, the Sledge-o-matic, and a money clip or two, Balls would fall victim to a Money/Dinero double team (I can’t remember the clever name for it) while Nova is worked over outside the ring by Hammrick. After the bell has rung, Nova is tossed back in the ring where the triple-team continues until the opening chords of “Highway to Hell” ring through the arena||
Winner: Hot Commodity
|Spike Dudley vs. Chris Hammrick – I was looking forward to a PPV encounter between these two for a while, but it never seemed to come. Watchers of Hardcore TV know that the tensions were already riding high between Spike and Hammrick, so this match could have a ton of heat. The match would certainly be a high-energy bout, with more than ample amounts of aerial maneuvers. Eventually, Spike would get the dupe with an acid drop (big shocker there) while Nova and Balls limit the outside interference. As Hot Commodity retreats backstage, Nova, Balls, and Spike rejoice with one final chorus of “Big Balls”.||
Winner: Spike Dudley
team champions, Doring and Roadkill, make their way towards the ring to
a thunderous ovation. Having no opponents announced prior to the
card, Doring grabs a mic and addresses the sold-out crowd. “After
busting our ass in this company year after year, we’re finally on top of
this company. We’ve beaten Hot Commodity, we’ve beaten Simon and
Swinger, we’ve beaten York and Matthews, and we’ve beaten the Baldies.
We’ve established ourselves as the team to beat, and that’s why we’re holding
these straps. Tonight is ECW’s last night and we’re putting out an
open challenge to any tag team backstage, be it past, present, or any other.
We walked in this building with the belts and we’re leaving this company
“Champions” Roadkill adds.
An unfamiliar music hits and the crowd falls quiet waiting to see who will come through the curtain.
Who Can Defeat Them?
|Doring/Roadkill vs. the “New” Impact Players (Corino and Credible) for the ECW Tag Team Titles – The Impacts come out to a decent ovation and lay down the challenge to the champs, which is promptly accepted. The match would be a solid blend of brawling, double-team moves, and the rest of the spots you’d expect from these guys. Doring and Roadkill would score the win after hitting the Buggy Bang on a bloody Corino (hey, of course he’s gonna blade, it’s his last ECW match) and retain the belts to go down in history as the final ECW Tag Team champs.||
Winner: Danny Doring/Roadkill
|Rob Van Dam vs. Kid Kash – This match wouldn’t come out of a feud or angle, but rather two friends in a challenge match. The two would shake hands before what would become one of the greatest ECW matches ever. The last time these two met (on TNN) Kash nearly took RVD to the limit and this encounter would also see several near falls on both men. Once again, we’d see all the typical spots (several hurracanranas, Van Daminators, the usual) until RVD goes for the Van Terminator. Kash would squirm out from under the chair at the last second and follow up quickly by attempting the Money Maker. This would also be reversed, this time into a modified Kudo Driver on Kash. Seeing his opportunity, RVD would jump onto the turnbuckle and hit the Five-Star Frog Splash on the limp Kash, scoring the pinfall (come on, you didn’t really think he was gonna put Kash over, did you?).|| VS.
Winner: Rob Van Dam
|At this point, Joey Styles would head to the ring and announce that he had a special surprise for the fans in attendance and those watching on pay-per-view. Two ECW alumni had displayed an interest in returning to the company that made them famous and having one last match together. These two had set arenas on fire across the country and here they are for one last round. OMG, it’s||
It Can't be!
|Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko (come on, it’s not impossible) – The chants of “Welcome Back” are nearly deafening as the friends/foes prepare to square off. No surprises here, just another four/five star match from the two Radicalz. I won’t begin to speculate about who would win and what spots would go down, because just the thought of seeing these two in an ECW ring again makes me dizzy.|| VS.
|FBI vs. Mikey/Tajiri 2/3 Falls – Anyone who saw the final ECW Arena show (Holiday Hell 2000) got a taste of this match, but to me a match like this NEEDS to be televised. After nearly a year of feuding, this match would be the pinnacle of the chemistry these teams have with each other. The first fall would go to the FBI thanks to a double Fujiwara armbar. The Unholy Alliance would take the second with their double-team step-through combination. The third fall would be the longest of all, seeing all the moves and spots these four have perfected throughout their program. After a combination of mat-wrestling, high-flying moves, and a few cheap tactics, Tajiri would hit Guido with the Green Mist. A blinded Guido wold turn right into a Whippersnapper (which he would sell standing up) into a Tajiri brainbuster. 1-2-3 and the Unholy Alliance wins the match and the feud.||
Winner: The Unholy Alliance
– Rhino vs. Tommy Dreamer (for the ECW World Heavyweight Title) – After
the introductions, the strains of “Enter Sandman” would hit over the PA.
Due to Rhino’s cheap victory at Guilty As Charged and the fact that he’s
the most decorated ECW champion, Sandman wants to make this match “A THREE-WAY
DANCE” which both men are more than happy to oblige. During the match,
a steel guardrail finds it’s way into the rings (as they often do in Sandman’s
matches). After suplexing it onto a fallen Rhino (or is it Rhyno?),
Sandman sets the guardrail upright in the corner. Before he can use
it however, Rhino gores him into the unforgiving steel and gets the three
Now two men are left and Rhino’s lust for violence is apparent. As he slams, powerbombs, and piledrives Dreamer, the locker room empties and the boys in the back surround the ring. They pound on the ring supportively as Dreamer mounts his comeback. Rhino goes for a gore in the turnbuckles and misses. As he staggers out of the corner, Dreamer catches him and lifts Rhino into the firemen’s carry position and BOOM Spicoli Driver and 1-2-3. OH MY GOD!!! TOMMY DREAMER IS THE NEW ECW WORLD CHAMPION!!! And how fitting to honor his good friend, the late Louie Spicoli, in the process. As the wrestlers surrounding the ring lift Dreamer onto their shoulders, a familiar face emerges from the crowd. OMG, it’s Raven, Raven is in the arena! The boys put Dreamer down as the two former enemies stare each other down. It is Raven that moves first, grabbing the hand of Dreamer and raising it in the air for all to see. Finally, Tommy Dreamer has realized his goal and there is no one to take it away from him as he retires as champion.
Winner: Tommy Dreamer
|As the crowd chants, “Please don’t go! Please don’t go!”, Dreamer addresses the crowd, saying that ECW will never die as long as it lives on in the fans hearts. It will forever be a part of every person involved with it, and that is something no one can take away. As the cameras would fade to black, the crowd would be heard chanting louder and stronger than ever before: “E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub!”||