Ringside With Mr.White
Issue #4
By RDMrWhite4
Who would benefit: Ex-ECW wrestlers who would have a chance in the WWF.

        Over the past several weeks I have been thinking about WWF talent. How some needs to be dropped, or need a new gimmick (*Cough* Perry *Cough*), or just plainly need a change in their career someway. Then I thought, maybe the WWF could use some more talent. Sure they got more wrestlers than they know what to do with, but if they got a few new wrestlers and weeded out the old they might just have a new all-star roster on their hands. The following are all modern day gladiators that could carry the WWF to an all-new level:

New Gimmick Needed!
Balls Mahoney: This was a very hard choice for me. I love Balls...Mahoney (I know what you were thinkin’), and I know his gimmick would probably be butchered to the highest degree. I have been against all ex-ECW wrestlers entering the WWF for the simple fact that they become mere watered down versions of themselves. Tazz, Jerry Lynn, RVD, even Cactus Jack were all changed and made more viewer friendly in the WWF. Balls Mahoney is definitely the whole F’N opposite of viewer friendly. This man bleeds constantly, has “foul” entry music, and His name is Balls! But, GODDAMMIT, he can brawl with the best of them! This is why I think he could do so well n the WWF. I am talking championship material...hardcore that is. The WWF hardcore title means nothing in the business, that is why it is passed around by ex-ECW like a heroin whore when the ships come in from sea. Vince wouldn’t want to give a real title to an ECW wrestler; they’re nothing more to him than the janitors that wipe his ass for him. But this is where Balls comes in. This man has a rabid fan following and could easily get a larger one on television. Old fans would still accept his watered down style and new fans would respect him for his hardcore ways. Also, If he ever did get higher up on the ladder he could start bringing back his old gimmick.

TO the WWF?!

 Mikey Whipreck: This man has what it takes. His look, style, and size are all in his favor.
Now before you all start saying that he looks like a drunken midget clown, and the WWF wouldn’t want him, think of the possibilities if he arrived in the WWF. Mikey has always thrived as an underdog wrestler who wouldn’t take anyone's crap. The fans love this type of wrestler because so many can identify with them. If he didn’t go to ECW/WCW, he could align or feud with Spike in a series of No-DQ matches that would teach the crowd about what risk taking really is! He could also join Tajiri once more, for the good ol’ times. Imagine the story line. A nice windy breeze on a sunny beach, The sun is slowly starting to rise...whoops, my bad! What I meant was that one-day Tajiri would walk into Regal office carrying all of William’s tea accessories. They look overwhelming as Tajiri asks the Goodwill ambassador who seems to be turned around in his leather seat for help. Bo help comes though, as a large cackle ensues and none other than Mr. Mikey turns around to cause Tajiri to drop the priceless tea set. The two would be seen in backstage skits much to the Commish’s dismay until finally he has enough. In one of Tajiri’s And Mikey’s first matches, Regal would run and blast Mikey with a chair, all while Tajiri was distracted. This would cause them the match and a whole lot of confusion for Tajiri. Regal would then get on the Mic and tell Tajiri that the besmirchful little scallywag Mikey Whipreck was trying to drag down Tajiri, and even take Tajiri’s title. Regal would turnaround, thinking he got some “bloody sense” onto Tajiri, only to be whipped around and Green misted. Thsi would allow Tajiri to get out of his stupid “bitch” gimmick and start a true career in the WWF. This would also bring heel heat back onto Regal, who I think is slowly becoming a face. Mikey would also soar in this story line because he would be tagging with Tajiri, that and the fact people love him. 

Drunken Midget Clown??!

Simon Diamond (with or with out Francine): I admit that I know very little about Diamond. Hell, I don’t really know anything, but I do know that Diamond has the classic wrestling look. Good Body, black trunks, ability and a great T&A valet. He doesn’t really have an extreme gimmick so he wouldn’t have to be changed any. This would make many ECW fans happy as one of the better ECW heels in a while returned for more. 

John Kronus: This was another hard choice for me. This is, in my opinion, one of the most well rounded wrestlers in the business. He can brawl, wrestle, risk take, high fly and JUICE better than almost anyone in the business. His cool as...ice (man am coming up with crap tonight) finisher, the 450 Splash, is executed as if he were a cruiser weight, only he’s 6’ 3” and 273 monstrous pounds. His in ring mixture of Judo style combos and high-risk moves have made him somewhat of a legend, at least to me. This man is being destroyed down in XPW, and I do believe a reformation of the Eliminators in any of the three federations would be great for wrestling. He could arrive in a big Hummer while Perry was looking for Moppy, and accidentally hit Perry in the head with the car door when he got out. This would miraculously cure Perry and they would join up once again to become the most dominant tag team in the history of wrestling! I know that He and Perry Saturn hate each other, but for the sake of both their careers I believe they should share a snack pack and get over it!

Juice Better Than Everyone Else!

Rey Mysterio jr. and Konnan: These two left their WCW contracts just to be together...AWWWW! Seriously though, Rey Mysterio is the shit, ‘nuff said. The WWF needs someone to show Jennifer, I mean Jeff Hardy what risk taking really is! He always puts on an entertaining match, seems to have no fear of self-endangerment, and is pretty handsome to boot. Konnan is a monster who can be a contender to nearly any man. I remember his title match against the Sandman as one of the better title matches in The Sandman’s career. If these two wrestled together or in a singles career, they could go a long way. Jr. would immediately be a contender for Tajiri’s or Kidman’s lightweight titles, automatically putting him in memorable matches off the bat. Konnan could either be Intercontinental or Hardcore Champ in a small amount of time. His size and gimmick gets him a fan base wherever he goes and does him well. Kudos to both men.

Psicosis: Great Lucha Libre action every time. The WWF needs someone like him!

WWF Needs Him!

Juventud Guerrera: This man has a bad wrap in the business. It is pretty well known he was let go from WCW for “going insane” on a touring bus or something, at least that the story I heard. I don’t know about you guys, but I would go insane working for WCW too. Matter of fact, you would have to be insane working for the Old WCW! The sad thing is he is absolutely on of the greatest Luchadores this side of Mysterio Jr. circa ’95. Since his reputation has proceeded him at times he is forced to wrestle five star matches in gymnasiums across the globe. If he were to come to the WWF with all the other previously listed Mexican talent, we could have a fiesta on our hands. 

Kid Kash: Sign him know! Vince is already an idiot.................................for not signing this man . I’m sure I'm not the only person to wishing for A Kid Kash vs. Jeff Hardy match. I would cry with laughter as Jeff had his ass handed to him on a rusty platter. A tear rolls down my cheek this very instant. I honestly can’t see why Vince hasn’t bought this kid up yet. He is one of the most talented wrestlers to come around since Shawn Michaels. When I saw him live I was simply awestruck by his grace. No spot was missed, not even through the all the blood that was pouring from his face. His TV title feud with Rhyno was done amazingly well through a story line delivered with action, not promos. The WWF needs more wrestlers like him and one less Hogan of the new millennium (you have to be an idiot to not get this reference), so we can actually see some wrestling instead of a crowd sing-a-long. 

Vince Is an Idiot for not signing Him!
Christian York and Joey Mathews: The only tag team to make my list is one of the most promising teams to hit wrestling in years. Like I’ve said about many of the wrestlers on my list, these young men are great risk takers with that pop star look that seems to be carrying so many these days. These guys could easily be given a valet like Torrie Wilson and have a long lasting feud with the Hardy Boyz and Lita. The girls would go crazy for the male eye candy, the men would drool for Lita and Torrie, and a hardcore wrestling fan could admire it for the skill that was generated. E-zee money.

        I want it to be clear that for the most part I would rather all ex-ECW wrestlers to stay far away from the WWF. I really HATE what the WWF has done to the old ECW talent and will never forgive Vince “Satan” McMahon for ruining Jerry Lynn, Raven and Tazz like he has. The fact is that I also realize that this is a business like any other and it all comes down to the greens. All the people I have listed (and the ones I haven’t for that matter) could earn great money in the WWF and achieve some form of success, even at the expense of their extreme personas. I hope all the ex-ECW wrestlers not already in the WWF end up some place they can make a living and enjoy their work, even if it is the WWF. 

Vince Ruined Him!
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